The Busch Family adventures....

A day of mourning and sadness...

2010-08-14T21:49:00.002-05:00

Today, I attended Dan and Southern's funeral. It was at Friendly Baptist Church at 4:30 pm and the church was overflowing with supportive family and friends. Which was a beautiful testimony of how many lives have been touched by knowing these wonderful people.

When I woke up this morning, all I could think about was April, Anna, and Sandra who were going to bury their loved ones today. I thought about the times I had gone over to April's house and swam while Dan worked on their farm. I reminisced how EVERY single time I saw Dan he was wearing overalls which I assume is a necessary piece of clothing for every cowboy's wardrobe and that the last time I saw him and spoke to him was at another sad occasion, which was Heather Whitehead's viewing before her funeral in April 2009. The Dan I knew was a very loving father who would give his life to protect his family and others. I've been mentally kicking myself for not ever taking the time to meet Southern and realized that now I would never have the chance. I dreaded every hour that ticked by as 4 o'clock neared. While my heart was heavy, I tried not to show it because we had company (Hobby and Hannah) over today. I loved on Jonah as much as possible. When something like this happens to someone close to you, you can't help but hold your loved ones a little tighter and say "I love you" just a little more often. It's times these that truly remind you that life is so precious, time is so short, and that we're never guaranteed tomorrow.

When I arrived, they were directing traffic to parallel park along the driveways because they had run out of parking spaces. I was sent upstairs into the balcony because the lower portion of the church was full. As I looked down at the stage, I saw a single, beautiful mahogany colored casket covered with a yellow and white bouquet spray, a folded American flag, and a small black cowboy hat.

It appeared the family had decided to bury the two of them together. Had Dan and Southern been here to choose, they wouldn't have had it any other way. They had spent alot of time together, just Southern and Poppa, God had taken them from this world together and their bodies would rest in peace together until Christ's return to this earth. They had also walked through the gates of Heaven hand-in-hand to meet their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ together. You see, little 6 year old Southern decided on March 26th, 2010 that he needed Jesus and asked Him to become Lord and Savior of his life and he was baptized on March 28th, 2010. His Poppa had been a Christian for many, many years so there was no question where he would be when he left this earth.

As I watched my friend and her family come into the sanctuary, tears rolled down my cheeks as I grieved for them. They all, Sandra, April and Anna had a tissue tucked away in their hand preparing for many more tears to fall. One would think that after three days of tears that you wouldn't be able to cry anymore but as the funeral proceeded, more tears fell. The congregation was full of sniffles as others cried their own tears for this family.

Being from the country, it was only fitting that the family had decided to play Vince Gill's "Go Rest High On That Mountain" among other country songs throughout the service in memory of Dan and Southern and as a comfort to their loved ones left behind. A slide show with pictures of Dan and Southern by themselves and with family members was shown reminding us just how alive the two of them were and cataloged the memories and lives they had lived. It's kind of ironic how we try to document life as it's happening with pictures but you never see cameras at funerals because no one wants to remember such times of great grief.

The present pastor at Friendly spoke and told a story about the first time he saw Dan. He said he was there preaching in view of a call when all of the sudden he noticed this man in the back row with a beard down to his belly button and hair down to the middle of his back. He said that he thought to himself, "What kind of people are they letting into this church?" Well, little did he know that Dan's outward appearance was a facade. It wasn't until he actually met him that he realized that Dan's rugged appearance didn't define the man underneath. Dan was a cop for the Tyler Police Department for 22 years and his "hair" was part of his cover. He had nothing but praise for his brother in Christ and gave words of encouragement to the family. He also spoke about his experience baptizing Southern just a few months ago. He said "Southern, he was all boy because all he wanted to do was play and swim in the baptistry," which caused the congregation to laugh. He said that he never saw Southern without a smile on his face and that he loved is Poppa very much.

A fellow friend and co-worker spoke about his relationship with Dan, in the "real" world and in "God's" world. In the "real" world, Dan had his back. In "God's" world, Dan had realized that God was in the small things. That was Dan's life motto: God was in the small things. Not a truer word could have been spoken or treasured at this time in their lives. And who better to remind them and us about it than a friend of Dan.

The former pastor of Friendly spoke about being jealous of Dan because he could wear his overalls to church but his wife wouldn't let him. :) He also told a story about a letter in the obituary section from a family to a loved one in a small town newspaper. I'm paraphrasing but it was something like this.

"Dear Billy,
The day you passed away our sun died in the sky. Even though our lives this past year have been very dark, God has turned on the headlights so we can see to go on. We love you and can't wait to see you again someday!
Love, the Family"

This had to be such great words of comfort because how do you go on living after something like this happens? I would just want to lay down and die because that would have to feel better than grieving and dealing with it. He also shared the gospel and how to become a Christian so we could have the hope of seeing our loved ones again in heaven like the Ross family would.

As the ceremony was drawing to a close, the police department presented Sandra with the folded American flag that had lain on their casket the entire service serenaded by a beautiful rendition of "Amazing Grace" by a man playing the bagpipes. They then removed the small cowboy hat, which had to have been Southern's, the flowers and wheeled them out of the sanctuary. The family followed behind them one-by-one. My heart immediately flooded with grief knowing that the next several hours were going to be the most difficult. The finality of burying your loved one or loved ones is very hard to accept. Unfortunately, I didn't attend the graveside service which was in Van, TX. I think that the graveside service should be a private family-only ceremony so you can spend the last time with your loved ones and be able to fall apart if you need to without the whole world watching.

I cried most of the way home thinking about my friends and what they were about to face. It was also a time of reflection for me and what's really important when all the "fluff" of life goes away. I hope I never take my family and friends and the time I have with them for granted because we never know when it might their last.

Dear God,
Please continue to hold the Ross' in your arms. Turn on the headlights for them so they can see in the midst of the darkness. Show us how to show them love from you through us in the coming day, weeks, months, and years. Let them know you are ALWAYS with them through the good times and bad and that you're very much into the small things. I love You and I praise You!
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

:(....8/11/10

2010-08-12T13:15:00.000-05:00

Dear God,

Yesterday, you decided to take home two loved ones from the Ross Family. Southern was only 6 years old and the only son of my dear friend, April. Not only did you take Southern but you also took April's father, Dan, with him. It's with a VERY heavy heart that I come to you and beg that you'll wrap your gentle, loving arms around April, Anna, and Sandra tightly and give them a peace that passes all understanding. My mind can't and doesn't want to fathom the great amount of grief they're experiencing right now. I know that you have the power to give and take away because EVERYTHING is yours anyway. It just doesn't seem fair or time to take them from this earth to be with you so soon. I also know that in time you will provide them with healing. Please Lord show them that even though they may not see or understand it right now, that you do have a plan and a purpose for their lives. Please be their calm in the midst of this storm and allow them to feel your presence. In Jesus name, I pray.

Amen

So You Think You Can Dance!

2010-06-29T09:35:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite dancer so far this season! Kent is my 2nd favorite!

Lauren Froderman - What an amazing performace!!!

Jonah!

2009-09-23T14:25:00.002-05:00

My, my how time flies! As you can see it's been a while since my last post. It's been 5 months and a week today since the little baby I was fretting about came into my life and turned it upside down for the better. Oh how I love him so much! He makes we want to be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, just basically a better person altogether. I was so scared about having Jonah that it consumed most of my thoughts in the last few weeks before I had him. But within a few hours of having him all of those "fears" went away. No doubt, a who other set of fears came into mind after he was born...but none of the same anxious thoughts about being a mom were there anymore. There have been so many moments of joy and lots of joyous tears and a few frustrated tears shed since he came into our lives. All in all, I would recommend having a baby to EVERY woman I come into contact with. It's the closest thing to heaven and hell in my opinion. Loving someone so much that you would die for them is a blessing and agony all at the same time. Being Jonah's mommy is the greatest joy I have ever experienced in my life so far.

My husband has become a "new" creation since having Jonah. I always knew he had the potential to be a great daddy but since he came from a home without one, I was skeptical. He has risen above and beyond my expectations as a father to Jonah! I cannot imagine raising Jonah without him. The moment the nurse handed Jonah to him, Justin fell in love and it's something he proves to Jonah everyday! I'm so thankful and so blessed! I can't wait to see what God has in store for my wonderful expanded family!!!

Waiting patiently...

2009-04-07T15:18:00.002-05:00

for my little boy to arrive! I'm excited, scared, and ready all at the same time. His crib is ready, the clothes are washed, his bag is packed, mine's almost there, now is just the waiting period. I believe that I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions but being a FTM, I'm not really sure what they feel like. It seems today as if my son has dropped a couple of inches from where he normally is but that could just be wishful thinking. It's a little bit discouraging when family and friends are saying things like "you haven't had that baby yet?" and "he'll probably come late." I know that everything will happen in due time because God knows when he's ready and when I'm ready. If feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful pregnancy and I know that Jonah is going to rock my world for the better!

Baby Hiccups

2009-02-12T16:30:00.002-06:00

Awww! I think Jonah had the hiccups today. I was sitting here and I kept feeling these methodical movements, not like any gouge I've been feeling, so I assume they are hiccups. Michael encouraged me to blog about this so that I'll remember it.

She also shared a HILARIOUS story about one of her babies having the hiccups that almost made me pee in my pants at work. Thanks, Sis! I love you!

Pregnancy

2008-11-19T10:56:00.006-06:00

So far being pregnant has been the most facinating thing I have ever experienced! It's also the most un-normal I have ever felt in my entire life! The best way that I can describe how I feel is like this...it's like I'm sick but I'm not sick. I just feel uncomfortable in my own body, if that makes any sense at all. I'm trying to decide at this point if I even like being pregnant. Some women love it and then some don't enjoy it at all. I think it's the skinny ones that enjoy it because they can eat WHATEVER they want and don't have to worry too much about gaining too much weight. Us fat ones can't even tell we're pregnant or don't even feel comfortable telling people we are pregnant until the baby is big enough to strech out the fat rolls and be seen. UGH! I'm just curious if I will ever feel the way I did pre-pregnancy? It may just be because I'm short and I don't have much room between my boobs and my pelvic bone so I just feel like everything is squished! I don't know! The sad thing is...I have 21 more weeks to go and if I'm already not enjoying this completely...what's next? Is incessant complaining a sign of being pregnant too or is it just me?

Okay....it's official...I AM FREAKED OUT!!!

2008-11-19T10:41:00.002-06:00

Yeah, I was just checking out one of my sister's best friends blogs because she's having a baby about the same time as me and she's really good about updating her page so you know what's going on...unlike me! HEHE Anyway, so I was reading her last blog and I happened to notice a blog from one of her friends http://genesis12one.blogspot.com/2008/11/nursing-babies-sleep-schedules.html so I decided to click on it and I read it. OMG!!!!! I am soooo freaked out! I am a total worry wart anyway and I'm freaked out about becoming a mommy for the first time and I read about breast-feeding and bleeding boobies and all the other stories of the moms that can relate and I AM FREAKED OUT!!! I don't want to "figure it out" by the time I'm a mom for the 3rd time. I know that being a mom and learning what your baby needs is by trial and error but I have to figure it out before hand...that's a must! Otherwise, I'm going to be clueless! I guess I actually feel like I'll be the only mother out there that didn't have a clue what they were doing until they did it. My sister breastfed both of her beautiful babies and I'm guessing she spared me from all of the gory details. Maybe she didn't have any gory details to tell but it seems like there are people out there that do! Why did my curiosity have to get the best of me? I was doing okay in the anxiety department until today. I'm really starting to believe that the most important person that any mom can depend on is God! I have to trust that he made me to be able to produce and handle anything that my baby is going to need from me. I really thought that I'd be more worried about childbirth but that's like no big deal when you think about the life you'll be responsible for after the fact. I guess I'll go take a chill pill now and relax!

WE'RE HAVING A BABY BOY!!!

2008-11-15T10:43:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official!!! We're having a little baby boy! We're going to name him Jonah Levi!

One Fan

2008-09-23T08:28:00.002-05:00

Well, I guess since I'm almost into my second trimester that I should announce that I'm expecting on here. Oddly, since the only person that reads my blog is my sister, I haven't really felt like it's a priority to put it on here since she already knows. Since the intial shock of our good news, I think I am finally at a point where I've accepted that I'm having a baby and that my world though it's changing slowly now is going to drastically change in the coming months. My due date is April 12, 2009 which, coincidentally happens to be Easter. I know that most children either come before or after their due dates but either way, we'll be happy. People keep asking Justin and I whether we care what the baby's sex is, which is really frustrating at times because...WE DON'T CARE. As long as the baby is healthy and has all 10 fingers and toes, two eyes, two ears, a mouth and nose, we're good. It might be different, if we already had a boy or a girl, but for now we are completely content with whatever God chooses to bless us with.

I've heard it's terrible to stress while pregnant but I can't seem to get the future off my mind. I think about discipline, love, providing, college, everything and I can't seem to look far enough ahead to really have any idea what to expect. I've only been able to see from the outside looking in. That's clearly not helping much. I guess you really don't figure it out until you're knee deep and/or drowning, even then you may just be starting to see the bigger picture. I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of dread when it comes to being a parent. I have always been a perfectionist and whenever I don't succeed at something, I feel like a complete and total failure. I know that I am going to fail miserably as a parent at times and I just hope that I can cope with that. I'm worried about being too tough or too lenient or not strong enough or being vunerable. Is this what being a parent is all about? Is this God's system of checks and balances? If we are always struggling to know and do what is best for our little ones, then do we really strive to be and do what's best for them? I'm so fortunate to have a family full of experience women. I have already found a little peace of mind through converstations with my sister. I never dreamed, in a million years, that I would be taking advice from my sister on parenting or children. I always imagined that it would be the other way around. Either way, I'm very grateful! Enough stress talk for now...

According to What To Expect When You are Expecting, our baby is about 2 inches big, from head to rump. We got to see the baby in a sonogram and hear it's heartbeat on Monday Sept. 15. That was an amazing experience! Justin and I were both in awe of what we saw and heard. It sealed the deal for both of us that we were really "Pregnant." It's just really amazing how much a baby can change your life even before they are here. So this is Momma Channing, signing off.

Cleaning...ugh!

2008-07-25T22:25:00.004-05:00

Well, I just finished washing my kitchen floor by hand. It's been really dirty for quite some time now but I've just been too lazy to clean it and a regular moping just won't get it clean enough. My neice Hailey helped me finish it.

Now I've gotta tackle Mount Busch that's been piling up in my bedroom. I don't know what it is about folding and putting away clean laundry that has me stunted but it does. *Sigh* I know I'm not the only person that feels that way. I just wish there was some way that I could do a load from start to finish without hesitation or reserve. Maybe it's the whole, 8-step process that makes it difficult to want to finish. First you have to gather all the dirty laundry, then seperate the clothes by color, then put them in the washer, then wait for the washer to finish, then (when you remember) put the clothes from the washer to the dryer, then wait for them to finish drying, then you have to fold or hang them, then you have to put them up. By the time I finish all of those steps, I've lost sight of the goal and have moved on to something a little more "time gratifying." The sad thing is that right now, most of my laundry is clean, it just needs to be hung up or folded and then put away. I can't seem to get the motivation necessary to make that happen. Oh well, enough complaining about my laziness.

I'm going to try and tackle my bathroom sometime this weekend. ***Interesting fact: Blonde's have more hair folicles than brunettes.*** With that being said and me being a blonde, I find that my hair falls out in larger quantities than most so it's ALL over the place. It's a pain to clean hair up off the floor, as most of you women know. I've found that using a vacuum is the best way to get rid of hair on the floor. If you try to use the broom, it gets stuck to the bristles and then you have to remove the hair balls and put them in trash or toilet. Gross! The vacuum is just more sanitary to me. Then there's the toilet, sinks, and bath tub/shower that need to be cleaned. By the time I finally get to these areas of my bathroom, I start to feel overwhelmed and want to quit. But no one will do it for me so I usually continue until the task is done. All this to say, I'm not looking forward to cleaning this weekend. It's just one of those necessary evils in life.

6 Quirky Things About Me

2008-07-25T12:10:00.003-05:00

1. I'm completely grossed out by the thought of eating or drinking out of dirty dishes. I have to inspect every dish or utensil for spots and if it's got something on it, I have to wash it before I can use it.

2. I am not ashamed to tell someone if they have something on their face or in their teeth. I like to look into people's eyes when I'm talking to them. But when they have something on their face or in their teeth, that's all I can think about when I should be listening. (I carry a mirror in my purse for instances such as these.)

3. I love to be creative but I have a really hard time finishing projects.

4. I always wash my face, hair, and body, in that order, every time I take a shower otherwise I'll forget to do one of them.

5. I graduated high school 8 years ago and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

6. My biggest fears are to die of asphyxiation, being alone, and losing people that I love.

It's about time!

2008-07-21T18:14:00.000-05:00

Well, hello oblivion. I've been wanting to write a blog for some time now and I just haven't made the time to sit down and create one. So here it is... When my sister first asked me to create a blogging site, I thought there's no way I can find anything to write about in my meaningless, boring existence. But since I created my profile, all I've been thinking about is what I can write about and there's too much to say all at one time. Ahhhh! When I think about the massive amount of "stuff" that I want to get off my chest, I get this feeling of stop-loss. It's the same feeling I get when I think about cleaning my house room-by-room. I'll start with one room and low and behold there will be something from the next room in that room so in an effort to create order, I move it to the other room. Then the next thing I know I'm in the other room finding plenty of things to rearrange or clean and before I know it, I've lost control of my ability to compartmentalize. I was supposed to be in the original room until it was clean but here I am clear on the other end of the house trying to figure out if I have made any progress at all. Let me explain why I think this happens. See when I was a child, the doctor's told my mom that I was ADD and for the longest time I didn't know what that meant. I mean, what child doesn't have a problem with sitting still or concentrating. But as I get older, my inability to stay focused on the task at hand, finishing a project, or managing to read a book without being distracted by the least noise, is visible proof of that defect. It's a miracle that I'm even on topic now. I'm sure there are other women in this world that feel the same way that I do and maybe it's normal. But for me, there's this huge feeling of being overwhelmed that makes me stagnate and unable to move forward. The sad thing is that I have never really been able to rise above this very often and it's very discouraging. For now, I just try to take it slow and realize that the same mess will be there tomorrow if I can't get to it today. After all, life isn't about having a clean house, it's about living life saving the unimportant details (a super clean house) by the wayside to enjoy the rest. I hope to be able to express myself in future blogs and I appogize if I lose sight of the topic at hand. I'll just blame it on the ADD for now. Til next time!