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Well, I guess since I'm almost into my second trimester that I should announce that I'm expecting on here. Oddly, since the only person that reads my blog is my sister, I haven't really felt like it's a priority to put it on here since she already knows. Since the intial shock of our good news, I think I am finally at a point where I've accepted that I'm having a baby and that my world though it's changing slowly now is going to drastically change in the coming months. My due date is April 12, 2009 which, coincidentally happens to be Easter. I know that most children either come before or after their due dates but either way, we'll be happy. People keep asking Justin and I whether we care what the baby's sex is, which is really frustrating at times because...WE DON'T CARE. As long as the baby is healthy and has all 10 fingers and toes, two eyes, two ears, a mouth and nose, we're good. It might be different, if we already had a boy or a girl, but for now we are completely content with whatever God chooses to bless us with.

I've heard it's terrible to stress while pregnant but I can't seem to get the future off my mind. I think about discipline, love, providing, college, everything and I can't seem to look far enough ahead to really have any idea what to expect. I've only been able to see from the outside looking in. That's clearly not helping much. I guess you really don't figure it out until you're knee deep and/or drowning, even then you may just be starting to see the bigger picture. I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of dread when it comes to being a parent. I have always been a perfectionist and whenever I don't succeed at something, I feel like a complete and total failure. I know that I am going to fail miserably as a parent at times and I just hope that I can cope with that. I'm worried about being too tough or too lenient or not strong enough or being vunerable. Is this what being a parent is all about? Is this God's system of checks and balances? If we are always struggling to know and do what is best for our little ones, then do we really strive to be and do what's best for them? I'm so fortunate to have a family full of experience women. I have already found a little peace of mind through converstations with my sister. I never dreamed, in a million years, that I would be taking advice from my sister on parenting or children. I always imagined that it would be the other way around. Either way, I'm very grateful! Enough stress talk for now...

According to What To Expect When You are Expecting, our baby is about 2 inches big, from head to rump. We got to see the baby in a sonogram and hear it's heartbeat on Monday Sept. 15. That was an amazing experience! Justin and I were both in awe of what we saw and heard. It sealed the deal for both of us that we were really "Pregnant." It's just really amazing how much a baby can change your life even before they are here. So this is Momma Channing, signing off.